Associated Press

The Obedient Wives Club, a.k.a, man’s best friend, is teaching Indonesian women that the only way to keep a man from cheating is to be sexually submissive.

Oh, so that’s what we’ve been doing wrong!

The club, which debuted in Malaysia, has been so successful that, like Wal-Mart and McDonald’s, it’s now opening a second branch in the country.

First Indonesia, then the worldddddd! Keep those fingers crossed Taliban!

So, in recognition that not all of you can fly to Indonesia and take this class, I’d thought I’d give you two general guidelines:

1. The first rule on the Obedient Wives Club is, you never talk about Obedient Wives Club.

2. The second rule is ALWAYS PUT OUT, even if you’re on your period, cranky or spiritually bankrupt. PUT OUT.

So screw you, free will and gender equality–I will no longer be poisoned by your fancy “ideals.”