Alexander McQueen’s Gold Iris Platform Sandal

Damn. I say, hot damn.

Now I know what men must feel like when they see Brooklyn Decker on the cover of Maxim.

Gorgeous, sexy, elusive—these sandals from McQueen make all the other shoes in the world feel bad about themselves. Maybe all the other shoes should paint themselves gold, slap on some feathers and get on a pretty diet.

Hey, nothing like a good shoe-lift, right?

When I was 20, I saw Bernini’s Apollo and Daphne sculpture in Italy. Daphne’s fingers were carved out to sprout leaves like the irises that are growing out of these shoes.

Damn, that’s pretty bad ass, McQueen.

Maybe all the other shoes should take a cue and get some Bernini wannabe to sculpt out a decent heel for them.

Because damn.

I say, hot damn.