10 things you need to do to prepare for the premiere:
1.) Get higher than a mo**f**er.
2.) Stomp around in jortz.
3.) Practice not blinking for several minutes.
4.) Buy Nicki Minaj OPI colors for your nails. Be sure to use the crackle on top.
5.) Find an outfit that is reminiscent of a bunch of Muppets that stepped over a landmine.
6.) Practice your deep growling rap voice.
7.) Practice your baby talk rap voice.
8.) Hell, who are we kidding? Practice rapping.
9.) Find out what Sizzurp is.
10.) Put pads in your pants to make your ass more phat.
Do these ten things and you’ll be prepared for the most absurd reality show yet.
Watch out Honey Boo Boo and Kim. K. Barbz is comin’.[divider]
Photo: Christopher Macsurak