Dear Michaela sweetie,
You do realize that your dress is made of heavy duty garbage bags that have gone through a shredder, don’t you?
Its only mildly concerning that your lady lumps are exposed due to the fact that your resemblance to a carwash is truly alarming. For the sake of all that is holy, please calmly gather your tails and get your slutty carwash off the red carpet.
MO’s Verdict: Michaela, your stylist hates you almost as much as Ke$ha’s stylist loathes Ke$ha… Almost.