Jessie J, Your Stylist Hates You

Dear Jessie J,

You are not “sexy and free” in these cutoffs, or should we say cutups. The only thing that is free is your crotch.

You are not a member of TLC nor are you in early 90s Metallica.

The only conclusion we can draw is that you had a stroke in the middle of trying to fashion homemade jortz.

MO’s Verdict: Your stylist hates you more than Katie Holmes is relieved that her bearding duties are finally over.


Be Cool Honey Bunny Because Here Comes the Ultimate Remix Of Pulp Fiction

If you ever wanted to see Pulp Fiction as a musical, here’s your chance.

Electronic music master Pogo, known for his video remixes of “Up” and “Alice and Wonderland,” takes on the Quentin Tarantino film “Pulp Fiction” in his latest video project entitled “Lead Breakfast.”

Watch below to see a musical remix of John Travolta stabbing Uma’s heart with adrenaline and Samuel Jackson wielding a firearm while rocking a serious afro, all in one seriously cool video.


Pop Culture Hot Links: Apple's 80s Clothing Line Resurfaces, Barbie’s Ken Has a Gay Affair, Triumph the Insult Dog Teams Up with “30 Rock’s” Kenneth

Conan sends Kenneth from 30 Rock to get yelled at in Chicago’s terrifying Weiner’s Circle. After a tongue lashing, he brings Triumph the Insult Dog for reinforcement. Ghetto insults and bitch slaps ensue. (via ONTD!)
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Ken is gay and Barbie knew it the whole time. Take a look into their loveless marriage in their Broken House of Dream(s) House. (via DailyMail)
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Apple used to have a clothing line in the 1980s. YA. Popped collars and oversized graphic sweatshirts galore. (via Styleite)
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Neon tigers! Lisa Frank iPhone app adds classic trippy LF graphics to any photo you take (via Paper Mag)
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PHOTO: Croc eating a Croc. Reports say that Karl Lagerfield has hired this fashion conscious alligator to eliminate crocs from the universe. (via Gawker)


Pop Culture Hot Links Mr Roger’s Remix, Paris Jackson Gets Interviewed By Oprah, John Mayer Is Humiliated

Pop Culture Hot Links: Mr. Roger’s Remix, Paris Jackson Gets Interviewed by Oprah, John Mayer is Humiliated

Pop Culture Hot Links Mr Roger’s Remix, Paris Jackson Gets Interviewed By Oprah, John Mayer Is Humiliated

Paris Jackson tells Oprah that she understands why her King of Pop dad masked his kids in public. Easy for her to say, she wasn’t the one who was dangled off of a balcony. Poor Blanket is botched.  (via ONTD!)
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Three words you thought you’d never hear together: Mr. Rogers Remix. I mean, we knew with that cardigan and those canvas shoes that he was pretty hipster, but nothing could have prepared us for this: (via USA TODAY)
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John Mayer needs to stop talking. Declaring that Taylor Swift “humiliated” him with her lame ass song only highlights that he shouldn’t have been canoodling a teenager. Taylor:1, John:0.  (via The Gloss)
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Will Smith needs to stop redoing things he’s already done. First MIB, now this “Summertime” Remix. When asked for comment, DJ Jazzy Jeff replied, “SMH.” (via TMZ)
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Everyone is getting a hologram these days. The latest is Elvis. Hopefully, they won’t show his hologram from the waist up during his saucy dances this time around. (via Rolling Stone)


Pop Culture Hot Links: Hot Dogs Reenact “Dark Knight Rises,” the $666 “Douche Burger,” Zombies are Taking Over the World

Pop Culture Hot Links: Hot Dogs Reenact “Dark Knight Rises,” the $666 “Douche Burger,” Zombies are Taking Over the World

Pop Culture Hot Links: Hot Dogs Reenact “Dark Knight Rises,” the $666 “Douche Burger,” Zombies are Taking Over the World

Want to eat evil? Purchase this $666 Pentagram stamped Devil burger aptly called a “Douche Burger” (via BuzzFeed)

In other cookout food news, see the “Dark Knight Rises” trailer reenacted by hot dogs (via Vulture)

Enough about real food and onto cannibalism...

If you somehow missed that naked man eating another man’s face, you should know that we’re in a state of Zombie Apocalypse (via World’s Best Ever)

And you know that hipsters will be the first to go. Especially these lipsynching romantical ones that spend their time making the cutest marriage proposal videos (via HelloGiggles)

Followed quickly by these little hipster girls singing an a capella version of Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend” (via deathandtaxes)


Michaela Schaefer , Your Stylist Hates You

Michaela Schaefer, Your Stylist Hates You

Michaela Schaefer , Your Stylist Hates You

Dear Michaela sweetie,

You do realize that your dress is made of heavy duty garbage bags that have gone through a shredder, don't you?

Its only mildly concerning that your lady lumps are exposed due to the fact that your resemblance to a carwash is truly alarming. For the sake of all that is holy, please calmly gather your tails and get your slutty carwash off the red carpet.

MO's Verdict: Michaela, your stylist hates you almost as much as Ke$ha’s stylist loathes Ke$ha… Almost.


Pop Culture Hot Links: Bill Murray Talks Fashion, Kristen Wiig’s Best SNL skits, Wedding UGGS Are (Tragically) Real


Folks, secure your bomb shelters, the time of Rapture is upon us: Wedding UGGS are now available for purchase.  Pretty soon, black tie will mean black crocs with rhinestone Jibbitz. Don’t know what those are? You still might be safe. (via Jezebel)
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A human Barbie pisses off a silver fox.  After Anderson Cooper hears one mom’s parenting debauchery, he kicks her the f**k off his mild-mannered show (via Styleite)
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Tiny hands, sweater vests and a large afro:  A compilation of Kristen Wiig’s best SNL skits (via HuffPo)
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Speaking of sweater vests...Just what God ordered, a fashion blog from a pastor! He loves sparkles and Jesus. Follow him @Pastor Fashion (via ABC news)
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Bill Murray wears high-water madras pantalones while slugging rum as he gives us a breakdown of the new Wes Anderson movie “Moonrise Kingdom”  (via RACKED)


Pop Culture Hot Links: Forbes Names JLo As Most Powerful, Tom Cruise As Stacie Jaxxx, Get Gif’d On MyFaceWhen

Pop Culture Hot Links: Forbes Names JLo As Most Powerful, Tom Cruise as Stacie Jaxxx, Get Animated On MyFaceWhen

Pop Culture Hot Links: Forbes Names JLo As Most Powerful, Tom Cruise As Stacie Jaxxx, Get Gif’d On MyFaceWhen
Forbes names JLo as the most powerful celeb in the world, though neither we nor the internet think she has been “influential” or “powerful” since “Jenny from the Block” was running through the end credits of "The Wedding Planner" and Ben Affleck smacked her ass on a yacht. (via Gawker)
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The most unusual baby names of 2011 released in an infographic. Our bet is on the kids named Latina, Marcjacob, Juvenale, Manases, and Moo as the kids most likely to get teased  (via Kid Crave)
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Zooey Deschanel’s “brother” Jooey shows us how to piss off Siri.  And no, it’s not by asking for hookers, as Suri will happily direct you to an escort service… so we’ve heard. (via Jezebel)
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Tom Cruise did a photo shoot as Stacie Jaxxx from Rock of Ages. And once again, Photoshop proves its ability to perform age-defying magic (via yeeeah!)
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Yay for another time suck! We can now make gifs of our own faces with our iPhones.  Though it is difficult to think of a situation where taking a selfie for this purpose wouldn’t make you look like a psychopath (via Refinery 29)


Pop Culture Hot Links: Mom Jeans Tribute for Mother’s Day, Iggy Pop & Ke$ha Collaborate, John Hamm Raps

Ke$ha and Iggy Pop to collaborate in shirtless glitter fest, or some kind of song (via Flavorwire)
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In another unlikely, but intriguing combination, watch Jon Hamm slow jazz rap about “Taxi” with Reggie Watts. Think So I Married an Axe Murderer (via Huff Po)
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It’s not so much the breastfeeding on the cover of TIME that bothers us, or the fact that the kid should have stopped sucking on his mom’s lady lumps 3 years ago, but the ‘tude of the mother. Why does she look so malicious whilst shoving her breast in her toddlers face? Let the Freudian theories begin (via Styleite)
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Speaking of strangely, disturbing sexual things, poor John Travolta might just be getting his “Saturday Night Fever” from naked hugging cruise ship employees (via Gawker)
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Happy Mother’s Day everyone! Here’s to mom being accidentally, constantly ironic in her fanny pack, oversized glasses, and high-waisted light jeans (via BuzzFeed)


Cee-Lo, Your Stylist Hates You

Dearest Cee-Lo,

While the flannel and satin capri pants are brilliant in that “lumberjack-meets-soccer-mom” kind of way, they are only overshadowed by the magic of your socks and sandals duo.

And while we’ll give you a “Cee” for confidence while wearing this look in your best “I’ve arrived, look at me” pose, the outfit itself is unfortunate.

MO's verdict: Cee-Lo, your stylist hates you more than a Lennon fan hates your rendition of “Imagine.”

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Photo: Gregg DeGuire/WireImage


Nicky Minaj, Your Stylist Hates You

Dear Nicki,

Your stylist hates you so much that he is probably hiring a hitman right now to kill your ass.

Several outfits that we have seen you in lately come off as playful, colorful and quirky, and because you’re Nicki Minaj, we’ve let some things pass.

This tragedy, however, now confirms that you are a crazy person…covered in melted tropical Skittles.

MO's Verdict: Nicki Minaj, your stylist hates you more than your archenemy Lil' Kim hates your song, “Stupid Hoe.”


Hot Links — Pop Culture Edition: Avoid Getting “Defriended” on Facebook, Date a Celeb on Fox’s New Show, Klout’s Evil Stepbrother “Klouchebag”


Science says we "defriend" people on Facebook if they act like a-holes.  Guess that encompasses those that use their status updates to point out that it’s raining, remind us to live every day to the fullest, or post photos of their feet next to another pair of feet in a hammock. (via Jezebel)
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Blessedly, we can measure just how much of an a-hole those defriend-ees are on  Klouchebag, Klout’s evil stepbrother. (via Laughing Squid)
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Want to date a celeb?  Fox may have your chance with their new dating show “The Choice.”  Can someone please recruit Ryan Gosling for this?  (via The Hollywood Reporter)
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Here’s why you’ve never seen David Bowie and Tilda Swinton in the same place. Tumblr “Tilda Stardust” confirms our suspicions: Tilda Swinton is not only a man, but is also David Bowie. (via Fashionista)
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Jessica Simpson beats Paltrow’s “Apple” and Beyonce’s “Blue Ivy” with the worst baby girl name, ever.  (HuffPost) “Max Johnson” is a balding man who does my taxes. Get with the program, Jess.


Amy Lee, Your Stylist Hates You

Dear Amy Lee,

Currently, the work of Evanescence is irrelevant, and you are not often on our radar, so  the fact that we're writing about you must show you just how horrifying this outfit is.

Plaid, lace, leather and suede, Oh my!

Somewhere in the world, a grandmother is searching for her missing tablecloth and lace curtains.

Amy, sometime less is just so much more.

For the love of goth, next time, keep the tablecloth and curtains at home.

MO's Verdict: Your stylist hates your more than Elton John hates lip-syncing pop stars that are named after religious figures
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Photo: Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic


Hot Links — Pop Culture Edition: TLC Announces New Show “Obese and Pregnant,” Tyra Banks Fires Entire Staff, Scorsese Says Goodbye to 2D

Tyra unceremoniously dismisses everyone on “America’s Next Top Model” at once. Sources say she had that crazy gleam in her eye and was heard shouting, “NO ONE SHALL OUTSHINE ME, BITCH.” (via access hollywood)

Scorsese says that all of his movies will now be in 3D; we think this is a clever ruse for us all to excuse his absurd glasses (via Boston.com)

Just when we thought we weren’t fat, turns out we are (via Gawker)

Speaking of fat, TLC is making a show about women who are obese AND pregnant. This might just be our worst nightmare coming to life. (via ONTD)

Even hip-hop is fat. It has enough lines about food for peeps to make a minute long compilation of them. (via Laughing Squid)

 


Christina Aguilera, Your Stylist Hates You

Dear  Cher Christina,

120 pounds called and wants their one-piece back. We kid, we kid.

But really, wearing a bedazzled one piece bathing suit with no lady lump support is not your best choice. You are literally busting down and out of this, in all the wrong places.

And the shoes are cool, in that stripping-for-dollars-kind-of-way.

But, how about some pants next time?

MO's Verdict: Christina, your stylist hates you more than you hate accepting the fact that you’re no longer a size two.
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Lewis Jacobs; Photos: NBC