Dearest Macklemore, We know that the MTV Movie Awards are a joke, but your matador getup is borderline disrespectful. No one thinks that a mini-cape and a form-fitting, shiny onesie is, to use your words, “Hella tight.” Verdict: Shouldn’t have popped the tag on this one, homie.
Gutentag Robert! While we appreciate your theme wear and how you seem to be rocking it ironically, lederhosen should stay in the Hofbrau House at Oktoberfest, where they belong. Even that neckerchief cannot distract us from looking directly at your suede schnitzel. Please return your outfit to the von Trapp (continued…)
Dear Rihanna, Are you showing us the evolution of jeans with this look? It’s already hard enough to button up one pair of jeans. Why make it harder on yourself? The top pair of pale 90s wash indicates that you’re a member of TLC, while the bottom dark wash suggests (continued…)
Dear funny lady Silverman, Considering your top and ill-fitting blazer are passable, we’re wondering why you took drugs before you put on pants. Or rather, put on shorts from American Eagle, raided your 16-year-old neighbor’s closet for thigh highs and paired them with black sneaks. Seriously Sarah, next time try (continued…)
Dear Jessie J, You are not “sexy and free” in these cutoffs, or should we say cutups. The only thing that is free is your crotch. You are not a member of TLC nor are you in early 90s Metallica. The only conclusion we can draw is that you had (continued…)
Dear Michaela sweetie, You do realize that your dress is made of heavy duty garbage bags that have gone through a shredder, don’t you? Its only mildly concerning that your lady lumps are exposed due to the fact that your resemblance to a carwash is truly alarming. For the sake of (continued…)
Dearest Cee-Lo, While the flannel and satin capri pants are brilliant in that “lumberjack-meets-soccer-mom” kind of way, they are only overshadowed by the magic of your socks and sandals duo. And while we’ll give you a “Cee” for confidence while wearing this look in your best “I’ve arrived, look at (continued…)
Dear Nicki, Your stylist hates you so much that he is probably hiring a hitman right now to kill your ass. Several outfits that we have seen you in lately come off as playful, colorful and quirky, and because you’re Nicki Minaj, we’ve let some things pass. This tragedy, however, (continued…)
Dear Amy Lee, Currently, the work of Evanescence is irrelevant, and you are not often on our radar, so the fact that we’re writing about you must show you just how horrifying this outfit is. Plaid, lace, leather and suede, Oh my! Somewhere in the world, a grandmother is searching (continued…)
Dear Cher Christina, 120 pounds called and wants their one-piece back. We kid, we kid. But really, wearing a bedazzled one piece bathing suit with no lady lump support is not your best choice. You are literally busting down and out of this, in all the wrong places. And the (continued…)
Dear Eli, Your outfit looks normal from the feet up, and then, BAM! Panda slippers. Wha-What? Panda slippies on a red carpet? This is the reason pandas are endangered. They would rather off themselves than live in the same world as ridiculous panda-shoe wearing fashion disasters such as yourself. MO’s (continued…)
Dear China, It is interesting that you wanted to go to the Logo awards dressed like a character from “Fraggle Rock.” We get that you support gay rights with this rainbow frock, but you are offending the entire community and scaring small children by wearing a shredded Muppet costume in (continued…)
Dear Amber, MC Hammer romper and monkeys giving thumbs up on your feet? I think you should wipe that smile off your face, go home and try again. That leather jacket can’t cover the tragedy that lies beneath. MO’s Verdict: Amber, your stylist hates you more than your ex, Kanye (continued…)
Dear Brad, You might do well at a country club from the blazer up. However, said blazer looks as though it was cut up from the lost & found near the golf course, and we really wish we could unroll your high waters, which are doing nothing for your teeny (continued…)
Arggghh, Mateys! Hilary Swank is about on ye ship. Hilary, did you get dressed after chugging a gallon of grog? We’re not digging this pirate look, or the pointy heels, girl. Even your belt is in theme with a key to unlock your hidden treasures, making this outfit a (continued…)
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