Marigolds on the River: Día de los Muertos in San Antonio

Let's get one thing out of the way: Día de los Muertos is not Mexican Halloween. Halloween is about scaring the dead off. Día de los Muertos is about setting a place for them at the table. One holiday hands you a mask, the other hands you a photo of your grandmother and asks what her favorite pan dulce was.

And no city in Texas sets that table like San Antonio. For about two weeks every fall, the whole town goes orange. Cempasúchil (marigolds, the flower whose scent is said to guide spirits home) gets strung over doorways and piled on altars. Sugar skulls grin from bakery windows. The River Walk turns into a gallery of ofrendas. If you've only ever seen this holiday on a coffee mug, go see it where it lives.

The big parade and Hemisfair's Muertos Fest already happened last weekend, but the best part is still coming. November 1 and 2 are the actual holy days, and that's when the neighborhood celebrations happen.

Walk the Tradition Trail

Through Nov. 2, downtown, free. The easiest way in. Ofrendas, calaveras and alebrijes (those wildly colored spirit creatures) are set up at River Walk hotels, restaurants, museums, La Villita and Hemisfair. Grab a coffee and wander. Nobody needs a ticket to grieve beautifully.

Get to the Pearl

Oct. 27 to Nov. 3, free. The Pearl does it big: ofrendas by local artists, a community altar, live music, vendors and a Catrín and Catrina contest, so plan your look. Five artists are making four-foot calaveras that stay up through Nov. 5. The communal procession steps off around 7:15 p.m. on Nov. 1. Go for the procession, stay for a drink, and bring a photo for the community altar.

See the Catrinas in Bloom

Through Nov. 2, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., San Antonio Botanical Garden. Jardín de las Catrinas puts eight larger-than-life catrinas by artist Regina Moya among more than 10,000 marigolds. It's included with garden admission. It's also the most photogenic morning you'll have all year, so charge your phone.

Find the Community Altars

Nov. 1, 4 to 10 p.m., Rinconcito de Esperanza, 816 S. Colorado. This is the one we'd go to if we only got one. More than 20 community altars, planted cempasúchiles, a community tapete, poetry and calavera readings, live music and a procession to the Alazán-Apache Courts with Danzantes Kalpulli Ayolopaktzin. Bring flowers, candles and a printed photo of someone you miss. MujerArtes' annual exhibit and sale opens Oct. 26 if you want to take home something made by hand.

Get Your Tissues Ready

Nov. 1, 6 to 8 p.m., Stable Hall at Pearl, $31 and up. "Recuérdame: Campanas" pairs mariachi from Campanas de América with storytelling as a tribute to loved ones. You will cry. That's the point.

Spend Nov. 2 on the West Side

The last night is the deepest one, and three of the best events happen at once, so pick your favorite.

• La Vida de Los Muertos at the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center (Plaza Guadalupe, 1327 Guadalupe St.) turns 30 this year. Sugar skull and paper flower workshops start at 5 p.m., the Mariachi Academy procession at 6, dance and music at 6:30. Bring lawn chairs.
• URBAN-15's Carnaval de Los Muertos (Elmendorf Lake Park, 3700 W. Commerce St.) runs 6 to 8:30 p.m., with a lantern release at 6:30 and a procession of illuminated costumes, drums and banners of loved ones at 7:30. It's smaller and stranger than the downtown events, and that's why we love it.
• Centro Cultural Aztlan's 49th annual "Altares y Ofrendas" (1800 Fredericksburg Rd. #103) runs 6 to 9 p.m., with artist altars at Galería Expresión I, a mercadito with 25-plus artists, live music and pan de muerto.

Stuck in Austin?

The Emma S. Barrientos Mexican American Cultural Center holds its 19th annual Día de los Muertos on Nov. 1 from 1 to 6 p.m. at 600 River St. It's family friendly and alcohol free, with altars, art installations and activities. Then drive the 80 miles south for the night shift.

How Not to Be a Tourist About It

• Altars are not props. Ask before you photograph one up close, and never touch the offerings.
• Catrina face paint is fine, and encouraged at most of these events. Wear it with respect. You're dressing up to honor people, not to win a contest (unless you're at the Pearl, in which case go win).
• Bring something. A marigold, a candle or a photo. Every community altar on this list wants your dead too.
• Buy from the artists. Papel picado, alebrijes and calaveras made by local hands beat anything from a big-box seasonal aisle.

Then go home and build your own ofrenda. Put out the photo, the candle, the cigarette your grandpa wasn't supposed to smoke, and his terrible coffee. Leave a light on. Somebody's coming home.

Dates and times are from organizers and may change. Check each event's page before you go.